absentee fathers

I read recently a comment from David Cameron about fathers who desert their children.  I suspect that no-one really knows anything about such fathers.  From what I have read, a large percentage of fathers who have become separated or divorced are prevented from seeing their children by the mother!  When I first left my wife I tried to see my children at least every week.  It was very difficult because my older child always waved goodbye with tears streaming down his face.  My wife, too, found the visits very distressing.  One evening, as I was leaving, she told me that every time she saw me it was like having a knife plunged into her heart and then twisted.  She also acknowledged that my visits were upsetting my older son who was five years old at the time.  We discussed the situation and, together, we agreed that I would temporarily stop the visits and that she would contact me when she felt stronger.  With hindsight I believe it was a plan to prevent me from having any contact with her and the children.  A plan which succeeded!  She was being greatly helped by two of my brothers and by the Staines Salvation Army.  One of the Bandsmen was the Clerk to the Staines Magistrates Court.  I was paid a visit by a social worker who - by some great coincidence! had been a music teacher, and was also a church-goer!  I could tell instantly that she was hostile towards me!  In her report to the judge she suggested that I was a promiscuous homosexual and recommended that access to my children would be prejudicial.  Acting on her report, the Judge denied me any access to my children and this was written into the decree absolute.  Many people told me to fight the order, but I knew my wife only too well and between them, she, my brothers and her family would not only make thingsdifficult for me, but also for the two boys.  I therefore became one of David Camerons absentee fathers!

salvation army

I don't really know how to proceed.  I feel really let down by the Salvation Army and by my family.  I don't consider myself at all to be a bad person, but they do!  One of my brothers continues to do everything he can to discredit me with my ex-wife and with my sons.  The last time I saw him and said that I should be pleased to be able to have some sort of relationship with my younger son.  He responded with:  "I can tell you now that it will never happen!"   As a matter of fact I saw my younger son for the first time  in more than 30 years, at my mother's funeral.  He looked at me with complete curiosity but we never spoke.  I was terrified of rejection if I had approached him.  I only wish that another member of my family had acted as mediator.   I was staying with my sister in Cardiff Christmas 2010 soon after my mother had died.  She showed me the invitation she had received to my younger son's forthcoming wedding.  It was called: "the Awesome Wedding".  She actually went all the way to some small village in Essex for the wedding.  Upon entering she saw my troublemaking brother talking to my daughter-in-law telling her how unreliable I was and that they would be better off having no contact with me!  As soon as they saw her they stopped the conversation!  During the wedding ceremony the meaning of the term "Awesome"  became clear.  My younger son had changed his surname by deed poll  from Kerslake to Awsomé!!  I have to say that since before Christmas 2010 I have heard nothing from my children so I guess that my brother has triumphed.